Happy New Year to the Strong Women from the DONM Forum

It’s the New Year and I’m thinking that it’s too bad I can’t wish a happy one to all of the strong women on the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers forum. It was such an awesome resource for me. I learned so much and it’s too bad the forum no longer exists. There’s some things I never got to ask on the forum that I know those women probably would have had some good insights on, like how hard drug use might affect a malignant narcissist.

It’s OK though, because it was up for long enough that it helped me shift my perspective, heal and cope. Like, I never would react the same way that I used to react to things. And now I’m able to move on and not put myself in these harmful, abusive situations anymore.

When I was in Arizona with my toddler and I was 5 months pregnant, my mom called me a bitch twice on a 4-day trip. One time had me sobbing it upset me so bad.

This one time she called me a bitch on that trip was because we were in a store and she was taking a long time browsing, and my toddler was getting really ready to leave (he was 1). I asked her to please hurry up. She didn’t say anything in the store, but gave me that “look.” Then, when we all got back into the car, with the doors closed, she turned around from the front seat, red-faced, aggressive and threatening, while I was sitting in the back seat with my toddler and started berating me about what a “bitch” I was. My toddler was upset, my grandma was upset and I was crying. Then we stopped to get tamales, my mom went in to get them so I said to my Grandma, “She bullies me, she’s so mean to me.” My Grandma said “I know” and she seemed really sad and scared, like that’s all she could say right then because she would be afraid if my mom heard her agreeing with me.

At that time being called “bitch” and yelled at like that used to really upset me and hurt me, but reading the DONM forum helped me realize how inappropriate that was, especially because I was pregnant with a toddler in the Arizona heat, and I should have been treated with extra care, let alone some normal respect you should show any woman.

I really value all of you strong women that I met on the DONM forum. I posted infrequently and I hope what I’ve shared helped some of you to gain some insight just like your posts helped me. I wish you all a Happy New Year!

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